Wives Need A Dream as Well

Just recently while tidying my Cosy Toes office I found an article by Rob Cope - Williams that I had cut out of a rural New Zealand newspaper in December 2006. I thought there was a lot of truth in this article and had saved it. I would like to share it with you...

Latterly I seem to have come across a raft of women who are very frustrated about their lot and feel as though they are living someone else's life rather than their own.
When they fell in love with the man of their dreams, they were very happy to join him in a partnership that included working very hard in the farm office, and on the land for just the satisfaction of building an assest together. Sadly the dream has become more of a nightmare as the man follows his chosen path, and she loses more and more self respect and becomes more and more lonely.
Men in general seem to have a very poor record in recognising stress, sadness and loneliness in others. The brave face they have been taught to put on seems to blinker the reality around them.
A woman who is thrust into a farming situation through marriage can feel very isolated, lonely and helpless, despite having a husband, children and neighbours.
People can feel all those emotions in the middle of a huge city, so why would the same thing not hit in the country?
Men are, in most cases, guilty of ignoring the fact that farming is their dream, and that the person they love has made a huge sacrifice.
How many men do you know who would give up farming and move into town because they fell for a city career girl?
I have also recently met several women who have started their own businesses and have "discovered" they are a person in their own right, that they are able to do things for themselves, and they can contribute to the farming accounts.
More importantly they have some independence and can, guys, have money they don't have to account for and that means neat presents at Christmas time!
All started with small steps, asked lots of questions and were given help and advise from others who have been down the same track.
Think of "Lisa" who made very good Humus. She gave pots of it away to friends who then talked her into selling it at garden fetes etc.
Now she has her humus in nearly every supermaket in the country.
Closer to home, Marion McKellow was a London girl who ended up on a farm. Wanting to help out she started to sell antiques from home. then came silver jewellery being sold by party plan and at garden fetes etc, and she now has a very impressive shop in Merivale.
Then there's the four who started the Culverden Fete.
You see it can be done. It is being done, and all it takes is the confidence to take the first step.